Thank God for Dog

I wish I had known, earlier in my life, how fab dogs are. Everyone bangs on about how much work they are and what a 'tie' but there is a conspiracy of silence - or there was amongst my family - about how much love and happiness is attached to the tie and the work. We've currently got three. Our own giant Hugo and adorable Hebe and we're dog-sitting a baby spaniel who is an absolute sweetheart. I don't think I'm very good with people. I'm not one of these mad people who loves animals and completely eschews humans but I am really, really bad at superficial relationships. I profoundly love a handful of people, and although I would and do, go out of my way for others, I don't sustain most budding, potential friendships. My family and my friend who is dying have always been enough. Is it a character flaw I wonder? When I get home from work I don't want to spend what little spare time I have talking on the phone other than with those I really love. There are those, very few relationships that are easy and natural and the rest are just an exhausting round of maintenance.
I went to an event a few weeks ago, where the person who had invited me introduced me as her 'best friend'. She's a neighbour. A neighbour I like. Another Army wife whose presence next door is warm and comforting but our hearts have no connection. We don't care about the same things. We don't feel the same way about pretty much everything. For a start she is terrifyingly right wing!!! How odd then, that someone with whom she has such limited connection gets elevated to the position of 'best friend'. Other than the aforementioned profoundly loved crew, most humans confuse, irritate or scare me, so... I wish I had known, long ago, how fab dogs are.
I have just been reading a blog. Someone left a comment here and curiosity drove me to her own blog. When I say I have been reading it, I have actually been devouring it. I will never have a child of my own. There I have said it, and the sky hasn't fallen in. For more than twenty years it haunted me and drove me. I felt...less. I am....less... but I have come to terms with the less -ness (yes, I know it's not a word) and discovered that less, can indeed be pretty good. There is a point to a childless woman that for years I could not see. There is a huge well of love for others to tap in to. In my case, a lonely, widowed Mother-in-law has benefitted. Every stray cat and dog within a 20 mile radius has benefitted. My husband has a whole lot more of me than he might have had. I still would it were otherwise but I am not a pointless person when for years that is how I defined myself...silently.